When you look at stressful times in your life, how did you cope?
How did you get by? Did you take life lessons from your experiences?
I feel like (so far) in my 30's, I've learned more about myself than ever before...maybe I was too young and stupid to gain perspective before -- but I feel like I "get it" now. My faith has definitely helped me...here's my recent story of faith...to make a very long story short.
As many people know, I took some time off work to pursue my Masters full-time. It ended up being a very stressful time with childcare, school, working (I taught part-time to pay my tuition)...and reflecting back, I just want to say I am SO glad that the semester is almost over! After this term, I will be off for the summer & will take courses on a part-time basis... If I feel like it, that is ; )
I'm heading back to work this week & next week to do some education days....on my favourite topic - breastfeeding! I was elated when they asked me back to provide some inservices on the topic.
My official return to work date is at the beginning of May, but it will be so nice to get back into the swing of things again. I also requested to work 4 days a week until the fall because finding childcare for 3 kids can be a challenge to say the least (as well as cost you an arm and a leg!) How lucky am I that I have a understanding and accomodating manager?
For so long, I have been trying to figure out what to do -- trying to plan -- trying to look ahead -- trying to be in control.
As the events of the past 1/2 year unfolded, I lost the control that I so desperately grasp onto and thrive on in my life.
When our "new" nanny left unexpectedly, and my plate was overflowing with responsibilities, I lost all the control I had. There was nothing left for me to grasp onto. It was definitely not my best moment. I felt like things were spiralling...I regretted my decisions and wondered why I even tried to do my Masters with 3 young kids. We had no nanny, no childcare options and a whole lot of work to do...
I wondered...are things ever going to work out? Would I ever feel happy again?
Now, things are all falling into place. A dear friend has offered to take the little boys on their nursery school days. Another new friend has offered me a full-time spot for both boys while my oldest boy is in school. Another dear friend with a home daycare offered full-time spot for all 3 boys in the summer!! WOW! Our previous nanny (not the one who left unexpectedly) who was with us for almost 3 years has offered to come back to look after the kids 3 days each week!!
All this information was waiting for me when I returned from our vacation. I almost couldn't believe it, it was too good to be true! Childcare is something that stresses me right out. I spent a lot of time worrying about what we would do. This was wonderful news.
With some reading, soul searching and in general trying to be kinder to myself - I realized I am not in control. Nor do I need or want to be. God is in control & that's just fine with me!
I have a friend on facebook & she has mentioned a few times that she's so happy she's not "the boss" and she knows that God has a plan for her life. She's thankful that God already knows exactly what he's doing with her life...so really, we have no choice but to go with it. I think that's so important to remember. Just go with it...great advice, particularly for planner types like me.
It's reassuring, calming, freeing to know that everything is going to work out in the end - one way or another. There is a reason for difficult times in our lives. There are reasons that God wants us to endure these tough times. All the tough times I've had have made me a better person. In the heat of the moment, I felt weak & overwhelmed...but now - I can reflect and know that everything was fine and everything works out in the end. It's going to be OK!
I feel very blessed that our nanny wants to come back to look after the kids.
She is one in a million, and I'm so happy she is part of our lives.
Overall, I think I've grown up a lot.
I know I still have a long way to go.
I'm looking forward to routines again, and being back at work with an amazing & supportive group of people. They truly are wonderful and I am always amazed by their talents and kindness.
My hubby and I feel refreshed and relaxed after our trip, the kids had great experiences, spring is just around the corner...and childcare options have worked out (and more than one option is available!?!)
As I look back, I can now honestly say that I'm so glad to have had this tumultuous but affirming journey : )
For those who wish to read ... Proverbs 3:5 provides a great reminder to us -- Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will direct your paths.
Life is good.
: )
Keri
No comments:
Post a Comment